Is exercising tact and caution a good idea or does it stifle discussion?

Over the course of my time spent on reader groups and reviewing books, I have seen a myriad of conversations and reviews online that have made me cringe a bit. Some people can come across in really harsh ways (maybe without even meaning to). And this harshness can be hurtful.

Authors are real people with real feelings who have spent real time writing and that all deserve some consideration.

However, readers are also real people with real feelings who are spending real money. That also deserves some consideration.

The biggest rule – a personal attack on an author is never okay. Not in any forum. Not for any reason.

An author friended me on my personal Facebook account. I pretty much accept all friend requests except for those suspicious successful widower accounts (ha!). I am who I am and have strong beliefs and opinions. The author eventually got mad at an opinion I hold. They gave me the what for on my social media page and promptly unfriended and blocked me. What I did not and will not do is speak out against this author or take out my own feelings about this event on their books – even though I felt like they were being childish and a tad dumb.

My second rule – you should never disparage a book or author you have not read. You don’t know if you didn’t like it. And it is unfair to the author and the book.

My third rule – In mixed spaces where readers and authors are part of the same group – where things can be very personal – tact is required. Being inflammatory or harsh in negative recommendations is just not necessary. Social media groups connect us in a different way than a site like Goodreads. Social media is designed to connect us as people, rather than connecting us to books. There is a way to moderate your words, so you can still be honest without coming across as mean and spiteful.

My fourth rule – Goodreads, Amazon, Bookbub and other review spaces are fair game, and authors and readers alike need to be thicker skinned. Readers need to be able to put their opinions out there. They need to be able to say, “This was the stupidest thing I’ve ever read, and it wasn’t worth the match I set it on fire with,” and be able to back that up with their reasoning.

Readers need to be able to express their honest thoughts about what they read, however they come out. Other readers count on honest reader reviews. But this needs to be done in appropriate forums using language and tone that are appropriate for the platform.

Not sure if that’s a thing. But it should be.

This week I have started several books, finished a couple, and trolled around for any that catch my interest. But nothing stood out. Seeing that several authors I like have new books or have books I haven’t read, I’m guessing my inability to get immersed in a book is not on them.

It’s me. Not you.

Ugh. Its so hard when your favorite hobby seemingly abandons the joy giving feature it generally shines with.

So, I decided to listen to all the breakup angsty songs I could find. I am a Gen Xer, so I returned to the songs of the late 80s and 90s. Mostly country with some hard rock mixed in. It was certainly an eclectic mix. Let’s go from “Somebody Should Leave” by Reba to “I Hate Myself for Loving You” by Joan Jett.

I turned it up loud enough that my kids put their earbuds in and shut the door to their room and got a shit-ton of work done. It was exactly what I needed. I listened to all the songs on my playlist – sone more than once because the Echo’s shuffling ability evidently doesn’t care if it already played that one!

I have some books I’d like to read and review here, but experience tells me that when I’m feeling this way then it negatively impacts how I feel about a book. Double ugh. So I will just wait this out. The feeling will pass.

I am *ridiculously* excited!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s an ARC from the fabulous Charlie Lane!

Review to come!

What is it about this cover?!

This is my all-time favorite cover. I’m not entirely sure why, but I have some theories!

The book is also great.

What’s your favorite cover?

My Last Chance by Weston Parker

My youngest has covid. Pffft. It isn’t a horrible case – the vaccine seems to be mitigating the illness. But we do follow the CDC recommendations and have her isolated. Hopefully, she won’t pass it on to everyone.

Since she is isolated, I have become her fetcher-toter. I have also had to pick up her slack and help my other daughter with the foster puppies. On top of all that, the CNA who assists with my elderly father-in-law had to be out today because her child’s school closed at half a day.

I haven’t had any time to quilt, but have managed to finish a book by Weston Parker called “My Last Chance”. I literally fell asleep.l while reading. So I grabbed some coffee and took a short nap (kinda keeping one eye open because my father-in-law kept trying to escape the house).

I woke up and started reading again and it still was just blah. It is a secret baby romance. I always pick these up with high hopes that the heroine didn’t intentionally hide the kid from the hero. But this one did, and again, I find myself being irrationally angry at a fictional character. 😡 I generally like this author but do wish that he would have just left this book unwritten.

The hero and the heroine were both stupid and did incredibly stupid things. Then we have the secondary story about the hero’s brother that I think was supposed to show growth in the hero by the way he dealt with his brother, but I found it added nothing and was just tedious to read.

Secret baby romances can only work if the heroine has dang good reason for keeping the kid from the hero – they had to go into witness protection, they were made to believe he was dead, they were threatened with death or serious bodily harm, it was a no names exchanged ONS. The heroine assuming the hero doesn’t want to be a father or that he doesn’t know how is patronizing and degrading to men.

Started great but fizzled out

Vivienne Lorret has written several books that I have read and reread. She can write witty characters with depth and engaging stories.

Then she wrote this book. And it was meh…

You can surmise from the blurb that this will be a surprise pregnancy trope. And I was so ready for that since it is one of my favorite tropes of all time. But the way this was executed took away everything I love about the trope.

The author did a fairly decent job with the mystery, and I didn’t put it together until 3/4ths of the way through, when the hints and foreshadowing got more blatant. Maybe I would have caught it sooner, but I was way too focused on the surprise pregnancy storyline. Who knows.

I really was SO DONE with the book before the book was done. If I had been done with the quilt I was binding, I would have stopped the book and listened to something else. But I was on a binding roll and didn’t want to take a pause.

Here is a picture of some of the quilts I finished while listening to the book.

The answer is probably not. But I have things I need to say and those things probably are best not said on Facebook. 😂 My kids often complain I’m an oversharer and tell me I am going to get doxxed – dox’d? – or worse. I remind them that I was around when AOL chatrooms were a thing and have lived to tell the tale, but they don’t seem to think that is anything to brag about!

I love to read spicy books of all kinds and often find myself wanting to talk about them. I suck as a reviewer. I am an irresponsible rater. But I do find myself with things to say about the books I read, the authors who wrote them, and the things they make me think about. I sometimes have strong opinions and am generally unafraid to share them. However, I always strive to be kind to people. I will say things here that you won’t agree with or like, and that is okay. The best thing about all books is that they allow us to think different thoughts about them without judgment.

My name is Jessica. I am a wife, a mother of four, a small business owner, and a caregiver to my intellectually disabled brother and very elderly stepfather-in-law. I also have three dogs – only two of which I like 😬. My kids love the other one so it’s all good. Thanks for joining me here.